Things to do

This page is a list of things you might want to do in Maryville, Missouri. Obviously there's Walmart and the Hangar (movie theatre), but this page will be primarily focused on the lesser known ways to divert yourself.

On Campus

Exploring

Take a walk around campus sometime. Several times in fact. Become acquainted with shortest routes between two points, secluded areas, buildings with roof access or unlocked doors, and mysterious stairs and ladders inside those buildings. This will help you build a useful store of information that might come in handy sometime.

Don't underestimate the fun of getting in/on to buildings previously thought inaccessible. And take pictures. As a suggestion, the belltower has become more difficult to scale since it was cleaned up and the ladder removed... We know of no one that has accomplished this.

Sex and Other Affectionate Acts

First, it should be made clear that we do not condone wanton debauchery.

That said, don't do anything in the Academy building. Nobody wants to see it (it'd be pretty creepy if they do, stay away from those folks), so we're here to help you know when to leave the Academy.

Academy-Safe

• Hugs
• Kisses
• Mild stroking

Leave

• Anything else

So if you're not going to do anything fun in the Academy, where should you do it? This is one instance when having an intimate knowledge of the campus comes in useful. There are two keys to a good making out/fucking spot. First, it must be secluded. Second, you must be able to get away quickly, as people have been known to go looking for couples in the midst of pleasurable yet nefarious deeds.

We are not at the moment prepared to give even an impartial list of places to go, as we aren't sure of how much the Academy Administration reads this Wiki, and we don't want to lose you those spots. We suggest asking second years, as some spent a good portion of their first year finding these places.

However, we are quite prepared to make a list of places not to go.

• Fine Arts building practice rooms. Everybody has used those and they are some of the most disgusting and unromantic places you could want to put your penis into someone or have theirs stuck into you. Also, people know to look there.
• Union reading room. Far too open and in a hub of activity. The key here is don't be stupid.

In the event that you'd like a guide or some friendly advice, David Gorham can help couples find that wonderful alone time they need. He's been going to Northwest's campus for 5 years now, and as such, has intimate knowledge of the place. David, however, isn't condoning your activities/feeble attempts at procreation. He merely wants to make sure you keep your bodily fluids out of the place he lives, since some of you have decided to leave little haploids swimming in common places (like bathrooms), and no one else wants that.

Beat current records or set new ones

• The list of records is here

Off Campus

Walmart. And thats about it. Nothing really happens in maryville and everything can be found at Walmart. Vans frequently drive students there but you could just as easily ride there on your bike as proved by Chad Henderson's record of biking to Walmart and back every single day of may session 2005.